Dark Thoughts

About a week ago, a dear friend of mine and I were having one of our casual chats. After a few rounds of unnecessary pointless debates, it somehow led me into telling him about my fetish with lefties… although why lefties intrigue me so is beyond me. He had brought up the fact of the common belief that lefties have a shorter lifespan to which I’m sure most of us have heard of. Nevertheless, how far the truth is stretched, I have no idea. And both of us have brothers who are lefties… One thing led to another and we eventually talked of death.

Of course, when you really die is fated by the Almighty. You could be of any size or age, from any race or nation, male or even female. But if God had fated that you’d die at a specific time, date and place… you would. Run to any hole you can squiggle yourself into or fled to any perfect sunny island but whatever that has been predestined for you, you cannot undo. Life is really a preparation for death which all of us will come to meet someday… prepared or not. You could die in the most horrendous way imaginable(God forbid) or die in such a peaceful manner that everyone would probably remember you by, masyaAllah. None of us know how much time we have left but if rewards and sins were to fall on our heads everytime we committed one or the other, everyone would probably go to Heaven. Because then, everyone would be afraid of comitting sins. However, that is of course not the case, thus why we often go astray sometimes. We forget… a lot. I try to remind myself all the time that we mortals only live once and there are no second chances. You screw up life, you screw up for eternity in afterlife. A simple rule of equality. May Allah grant us the guidance we need…

How about dealing with deaths? How about facing the death of loved ones? I was telling my friend that sometimes, I wish I died so I wouldn’t have to handle the suffering and loss of the people I love die before me. Yes, that was merely the voice of a coward. Thank you very much. But yea, you being dead is one thing, but facing the death of another so dear to you is definitely something else. Not everyone goes around telling how much the death of a loved one affects them. It just eats you up inside and you go on wondering how you’re supposed to go on with life. My dear friend said, “When that time comes, you’ll be prepared for it or He knows you’re prepared for it, trust me.” Well I sure hope so… i sure hope so.

A few hours hours later, that same morning, my housemate’s grandmother died.

Allah does not impose on any self any more than it can stand. For it is what it has earned; against it, what it has merited. Our Lord, do not take us to task if we forget or make a mistake! Our Lord, do not place on us a load like the one You placed on those before us! Our Lord, do not place on us a load we have not the strength to bear! And pardon us; and forgive us; and have mercy on us. You are our Master, so help us against the people of the unbelievers. (Qur’an, 2:286)

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