Sometimes I think we don’t want to ask questions we’d rather not know the answers to. Maybe because if we did, then we’d be forced to realize something about ourselves we don’t want to know of. Probably the reason to why we opt to being hard on ourselves. We push our tired mind and bodies from one extreme to another knowing very well of what it can do to our physical and mental being. Yet we go on, caring on every other thing except… ourselves. It’s almost like beating yourself up before someone else does. Because the pain is already there and you are every bit invincible to any other form of pain others can inflict upon you. No one can hurt you because you’re already down and out. It’s crazy but it happens.
At other times, when you’re just staring into space not really thinking, your mind begins to arouse questions you’ve always tried to avoid, like “Where exactly am I in my life right now?” And you start searching for answers, peering into pages of your life, struggling to find the slightest hint of an answer… and then suddenly… wham!!! It hits you. But you don’t like the answer and so you further search… until you finally realize and admit, that you’re lost. Lost in a realm you yourself are unsure of. And then, you start relying on the tiniest thing there is to live on yet induces an impeccably immense impact… hope. Being the only light you see right at the end of the long, dark narrow tunnel you’re now trudging along. Thus the reason why you still go on… for whatever reason you live and hope for.
Life is a shit sandwich. But if you’ve got enough bread, you don’t taste the shit. –Jonathan Winters